An Editorial by Robert Pawlicki in the Savannah Morning News Mar 23, 2020
My wife and I are in our 50th day of self-quarantine – sort of. Not big-time quarantine in a hospital or isolation in one room of our home. Closer to what most Americans are now experiencing, staying at home except for doctor visits and carefully orchestrated food purchases.
I contracted the flu the first week of February, confirmed by a lab test, and required bed rest and home stay. Within two weeks, my flu evolved into pneumonia, confirmed by an X-ray. Now seven weeks out, some of the pneumonia cough continues and my energy level isn’t back to normal. The pneumonia still appears well on the road to recovery, but I’m vulnerable to other illnesses at this point and now the coronavirus looms. Our self-imposed isolation continues. So what have we learned in our trek? Here’s our experience.
We greatly increased our non-physical social contacts. Telephone, FaceTime and Skype, emails and text to family, friends, neighbors, organizations. To people we haven’t reached out to for years. To relatives in other countries. We’ve listened carefully to their situations.
Expanding our social world has filled in a portion of our newly available time. Many of us regularly curse technology. Right now it’s been a life-saver in facilitating contacts. Ironically, we found this time of stress to be an opportunity to deepen relationships, including with each other.
We use newly available services such as home delivery of meals. We order groceries online and have them loaded into our trunk without getting out of the car. In each case we use hand wipes on all the food coming into the house and with any item contacted. We conscientiously wash our hands thoroughly after unloading. To some, this may seem overly careful, but we don’t see much room for error here.
Over time, we noticed items we initially overlooked in our self-imposed restrictions, such as the newspaper, mail, or food brought to our home by generous friends. Perhaps in the unlikely category of carrying contagion, we now alcohol-based wipe every item entering our home and then wash our hands, once again.
We are conscientiously social distancing, but we’re attempting to be creative. Our next-door neighbors recently visited us, bringing their own chairs, bottle of wine and glasses and sat in our yard while we stayed on the porch. We had a wonderful, laugh-filled, time.
We individually have alone time during the day. We each own our emotional state but care for each other. My wife has signed up for an online course. As my strength improves, I’m spending small, but increasing time working in the yard, something I find relaxing and calming. I write. We both set aside time to do home exercise. We schedule daily drives in the car in order to get out of the house. We’re more sensitive to those we’re dealing with on the phone, knowing that they, too, are under increased stress.
Beyond the cleanliness and general activity, the most important element of self-imposed confinement is our social interaction. An important piece of background information is in order. We like to spend time together – not this much time, of course. Still this lockdown has been a test. We’re attentive to feelings, stress and irritability. Tolerance, kindness and sensitivity are more in our thoughts.
On the rare occasions of snippiness, we catch ourselves quickly, alert to the unusual situation we are experiencing.
We believe our mutual physical and mental health is critical. It is even more crucial to those who do not begin with love and respect, those who may, under normal circumstance, have fractious or tense relationships. If you’re in that category, it’s time to up your own ante of goodness, kindness and tolerance.
Each of us needs to customize our social distancing. But it seems good advice that reaching out to loved ones and friends is critical as is an increase in social consciousness.
By all scientific information we have a long battle in front of us. I guess it can’t be said too often, we are in this together – all humanity.
Robert Pawlicki is a semi-retired psychologist who lives in Savannah.
